Everything Leads Me Back To You
What if losing yourself also means losing the person you love the most?
An original Lyrmotion poem inspired
by the emotional world of Maxton Hall
I want
to turn back time.
Back to before
everything happened.
Before what I did
became something
I could no longer undo.
Before my pain
became yours.
Before you looked at me
and no longer recognized
the person
you once knew.
If time listened,
I would return to that moment
and stop myself
before I became the reason
your heart broke.
But time doesn't turn around.
And we keep moving
through the labyrinth
of our worlds,
our lives,
our wounds.
Around and around,
as though somewhere
inside all this distance
there must still be
a road leading back.
And perhaps there is.
Because one thing
I know for certain:
nothing was in vain.
Every road
still leads me back to you.
My tears carry stories
I never knew how to tell you.
There are emotions inside me
I wish I could place
into your hands
so you could finally understand
what I could never say.
My heart is broken.
And I wish
you could see me.
Really see me.
The way
you saw me before.
Before I became someone
you could no longer recognize.
Life does not always play fair.
I know that now.
I struggle with the present
because part of me
is still living in yesterday —
when everything felt lighter.
When you were close.
When I still knew who I was.
I am still near you.
And somehow
farther away
than ever.
My tears
are not only
about losing you.
There are other losses.
Other wounds.
Other things inside me
that broke.
And somewhere
beneath all of them,
I lost myself.
So I numb the pain.
Loss can break
even the gentlest heart.
The tears keep falling.
Another glass.
Another sip.
As though we could
drink our way
out of drowning
in this ocean
of everything
we feel.
But all I really want
is to fall
into your arms
and disappear with you
into another world.
Away from everything
that tells me
who I am supposed to be.
I have forgotten
who I am.
And sometimes,
I can no longer find
meaning in my life.
But then I look at you.
And somehow,
in your eyes,
I find myself again.
Do you know
what heals pain?
Love.
And I don't need
to fall in love again.
Because I'm still
in love with you.
My heart is yours.
I wish
I could stand beside you
and know I deserved to be there.
Can you ever forgive me?
I cannot ask you to forget.
I cannot ask time
to erase what happened.
All I can do
is become someone
I recognize again.
Someone
you might recognize, too.
The person I was
when I stood close to you.
Perhaps not exactly the same.
But someone who finally knows
how to protect the love
I was given.
Give me time.
Not to make you wait for me.
To find myself.
Give me love,
if one day
your heart still wants to.
Because when I see happiness,
I see you.
When I think of love,
I feel you.
And when everything
inside me has lost its way,
somehow
everything still leads me
back to you.
I love you.
Now.
Forever.